Photo by Raul Ariano

Sara Jane Ho (MBA 2012) knows that many people think of etiquette as outdated, nothing more than “stuffy, stuffy old manners.” She has made a career—and now a Netflix series, Mind Your Manners—out of updating this old-fashioned perspective. “I see etiquette as the utmost form of wellness,” Ho says. “It’s a way to promote genuine and healthy individual growth.”

Ho’s own introduction to etiquette came from her mother, a consummate hostess who often entertained at the family’s home in Hong Kong, before gaining a more formal education at the Swiss finishing school Institut Villa Pierrefeu. When she moved to Beijing in 2012 after graduating from HBS, Ho saw a need for the skills she’d learned: not a set of rigid social rules but the ability to feel comfortable in any situation. China was in the midst of rapid expansion, evolving over 30 years from one of the world’s most isolated economies into an enormous market opportunity for multinational corporations. “There were a lot of Chinese who felt like they needed to improve their knowledge and confidence of how to behave in these different scenarios,” Ho recalls.

Ho developed her fluency in global etiquette growing up in Hong Kong, Papua New Guinea, Taiwan, Britain, and the United States. She had already been dispensing advice informally to Chinese acquaintances who wanted to know, for instance, what would happen at an American breakfast meeting. Despite this desire for knowledge, the idea of a finishing school wasn’t an immediate winner in China: “The reaction was, ‘Who wants to admit they have no manners?’” Etiquette was equated with the service industry, not high society. To overcome the initial lack of enthusiasm, Ho launched Institute Sarita at the Park Hyatt Residences with a chef from the French embassy. Soon, a lineup of well-to-do clients signed up to learn how to be good hosts and how to pronounce the names of European luxury brands.

More than an etiquette teacher, Ho sees herself as a “microcultural anthropologist” who is constantly observing her environment and the people in it. “What works in one microculture doesn’t necessarily work in another one,” she explains. “The way to really crack the etiquette code is to crack the code of each microculture.” In other words, etiquette means something different with your work colleagues than with your friends.

In 2018, a television production company approached Ho with the idea of creating a reality show based on this approach. In Mind Your Manners, Ho pairs her etiquette lessons with a holistic approach to wellness. The series has expanded Ho’s reach beyond China. In 2024, she will release a book in the United States, also called Mind Your Manners, and launch a direct-to-consumer women’s wellness brand that incorporates traditional Chinese medicine.

The world needs etiquette more than ever today, Ho says. “Every time I open a newspaper there’s a fresh story of epic rudeness, whether it’s on Twitter or in the workplace or at school. What happened to people being kind to other people?”

How to: Prepare for a Meeting in Another Country

Know what to expect.
An executive accustomed to presenting to a question-asking American audience might be disheartened by a quiet room of Chinese colleagues, says Ho. But what is considered “engaged” in the United States is considered disrespectful in China. “In China, asking minimal questions shows you are in consent.”

Read between the lines.
Ho explains that the United States is a “low-context” culture—meaning that communication is often direct—but that many Asian cultures are “high-context,” which requires more attention to subtle physical and verbal cues.

Look the part.
When going from Wall Street to Silicon Valley, most people are aware of the differences in expected attire. Pay the same attention to norms across borders, Ho advises. If you don’t know what to wear, ask a colleague who is local.

Post a Comment