Above: Dowling at home in New York City: “There’s no one model for being a working parent.”
(Photo by Chris Sorensen)

Daisy Dowling (MBA 2002) had built a successful career in leadership development and executive coaching at Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley in the 2000s, but there was one flavor of question she didn’t feel equipped to answer. The query typically came at the end of a session, after a productive conversation about delegating, managing a packed calendar, or presenting effectively in meetings. “But I’ve got six-month-old twins at home, and they’re not sleeping,” Dowling recalls hearing from one client. “How do I show leadership presence when I’m this exhausted?”

Working parents were typically offered platitudes about work-life integration, Dowling realized, which was a shortcoming in talent development that became all the more glaring a decade ago, when she had her first child. In the absence of well-researched, expert advice, she turned to other working parents, asking, What do you wish you had known?

Those inputs helped Dowling guide colleagues at Blackstone, where she had taken a job as head of talent development. Helping people through the transition to working parenthood wasn’t technically Dowling’s responsibility, but there was a clear hunger for assistance. The day one of the firm’s superstars showed up in Dowling’s office unannounced, asking for advice now that he and his wife were expecting, Dowling realized she could turn this informal coaching into a full-time career.

In 2016, Dowling launched Workparent, a coaching and consulting firm that supports organizations and individuals by providing practical tips and techniques that help workers excel at home and on the job. To date, the company has advised parents on five continents, with clients ranging from top banks, law firms, and investment houses, to Pfizer, Disney, Lincoln Center, and even the US Air Force. “These organizations are talent-driven and operate in demanding circumstances and markets,” Dowling notes. “They want actionable, resonant advice—with impact.” In 2021, she published Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids, with HBR Press. She describes the book as the complete, encouraging, how-to guide she couldn’t find when she became a new parent.

Dowling sees things changing. What she once called “the silent crisis” in business was exposed by the pandemic—a challenging but promising development. “Working parenthood has changed in that it’s more visible, and for obvious, practical reasons, it’s so much harder during a pandemic,” Dowling acknowledges. “But at some point, that will dissipate, and what we’ll be left with is a problem we’re all aware of and can address together.”

When I grow up: “Like most kids, I wanted to be a lot of different things when I grew up. But if I look back now, it was clear I was going to become an executive coach.” With an elementary school teacher for a mom and an entrepreneur for a dad, “how people learn and what makes businesses work were the two things that were always front and center.”

After HBS: “I did something unusual: I wrote a book (Remember Who You Are: 15 Harvard Professors Tell Life Stories That Inspire the Heart and Mind). I was probably the lowest-paid member of my class, but that experience led to writing about careers and leadership for HBR, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and other publications. It paid me in opportunities.”

No answers: “The most challenging thing about being a coach is that you’re there to help people elevate their own thinking—to come to conclusions that make sense for them. You have to quell the desire to say, ‘Well, here’s the answer.’”

Best advice: “There’s no one model for being a working parent. Take stock of the impressions you’ve gotten about working parenthood, and then step back and ask, What’s going to work for me? Define this for yourself.”

Daily routine: A good long walk. “I’m not trying to outpace anybody. I don’t count my steps. It’s just about putting myself into a frame where I can do some really focused thinking.”

What she’s reading: Everything. “My bedside table is an overgrown heap of books, because I’ll get several chapters into one and then go into another, because I’m so excited about it.” At the top of the pile right now: Oliver Sacks’s On the Move: A Life.

Must-listen: How I Built This, with Guy Raz. “He’s talking to people about the totality of their lives. His interviews show we don’t have our professional selves and separate parenting selves; we are ourselves, whole and complete.”

Working-parent hack: “Like every working parent, I struggle to make family dinners happen. Did you know you can make lasagna without boiling the noodles first? It’s a fast, all-in-one meal, and my kids love pasta.”

In any language: The family speaks both English and French at home. “I’m not a native French speaker, so I have to listen carefully and be really thoughtful about how I communicate. And when my eight-year-old daughter makes fun of my pronunciation, it keeps me humble. That all helps in my coaching.”

Point of pride: Professional inclusivity. “There are around 52 million working parents in the United States alone. While researching my book, I spoke with businesspeople of all kinds, as well as with medical workers, teachers, creatives, airline pilots, firefighters—you name it. We are all working parents.”

Working from: “As a busy working parent writing a book in a pandemic, I did my typing in the car while the kids were at a playdate or at the dining-room table because someone was making noise in the bedroom office.”

Her coaches: “My daughters, who are 8 and 10 and feisty and awesome. It’s strangely jarring how effective your children can be in giving feedback. They are very astute observers and unstinting in their advice.”

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