Here’s a great saying that’s been particularly relevant in my life over the past few years: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

To rewind a bit, I was named president of Micron Technology in January 2012. Five days later, my boss, the CEO, died in a plane crash. That was the beginning of a surreal period; it was all hands on deck, trying to keep the company on track. The former president, who had been planning to retire, returned as CEO. Three years later, my transition to lead the company was underway when I encountered some medical issues that required me to step down.

A week after I resigned, my wife called from her car and asked me to come out to the driveway. She said, “You’re not going to eff-ing believe this, but I was just diagnosed with breast cancer.” It was a surreal moment. We had three kids ranging in age from 12 to 17. There were late evenings and sadness at random times, and uncertainty and anxiety around not knowing the path forward. There were setbacks and choices to be made around treatment as we figured out what kind of cancer she had and what would result in the best outcome.

You start living with a lack of control, which changes everything. Life becomes more process-driven and less about the ultimate result. That’s a hard lesson to learn in any aspect of life, whether it’s athletics or a career. Getting comfortable with trusting the process, and not looking for the result, is a fascinating dynamic once you learn to live with it. It helped show me what is important in life versus what we think is important. Wealth creation, running a business, and the ego that goes with that, are not all bad; but if that’s what you’re living for, then it’s not necessarily all good.

As you can probably tell by now, that experience gave me a perspective on life that I didn’t have before this all happened. My wife and I are both in good health now, but the takeaways from that time are still very fresh. A couple of years ago, I chose to work at a smaller venture and to focus on creating impact. Now I reflect on the true motivation and purpose behind my decisions: What will make me happiest while having an impact on others? This year, when the local high school’s head football coach left his post two weeks before the season began, I agreed to step in. Guiding that group of kids while working full-time has been extremely hectic, but it’s also been an easy recipe for the satisfaction of looking beyond oneself and connecting with others for a common purpose. There’s nothing like helping kids overcome adversity and teaching them one doesn’t have to merely live with a result; one can adjust and overcome.

Another outcome from that time is how it changed my relationship with my wife. When I was president of Micron, I was commuting from California to Boise, Idaho, on a weekly basis and coaching our kids’ sports teams. Something had to give. It wasn’t intentional but what suffered was the intimacy and closeness of our relationship. In hindsight, we both recognized it. Relationships are just like anything else in life: They are what you put into them. The hard times brought us closer together. Today we have an awareness of our connection with one another that didn’t exist before, and it’s one we continue to work on.

I’m not telling this story to claim I have it all figured out. If I look back over the last 10 years of my life, it’s clear that we never quite reach a place where we stop developing and growing as human beings. Meditation and attending worship at our church have helped me continue to reflect, take a step back, and maintain some perspective on what really matters. That’s something I can control.

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Mark Adams is president and CEO at Penguin Solutions. A former quarterback at Boston College, he is the head football coach for the Los Altos Eagles in Los Altos, California.

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