Image by Lincoln Agnew

Image by Lincoln Agnew

It’s usually not hard to spot the extroverts in the office—or anywhere else. The butterflies of any social gathering, extroverts tend to restore their energy levels by being around other people. But for all their conversational ease, how well do they seem to be listening to what everyone else is saying? Assistant Professor Julian Zlatev teamed up with two researchers to better understand that question. Across six studies and 2,500 subjects, their findings were consistent: The higher a person places on the scale of extroversion, the less likely their conversational partners will perceive them to be a good listener.

In their article, “Are You Listening to Me? The Negative Link Between Extraversion and Perceived Listening,” Zlatev and co-authors Francis Flynn and Hanne Collins report that the one-sidedness goes one step further: People think of extroverts (or “extraverts”) as good actors who bring big energy and enthusiasm to the table to mask the fact that they aren’t listening.

The length of time you’ve known the person doesn’t seem to play a large role: “It seems to be true across a wide variety of situations, both with people that you know fairly well—one study was among MBA students who interacted pretty heavily with the people that they were evaluating—and also with relative strangers with whom you might never have had an interaction,” says Zlatev, who teaches the second-year Negotiation course at HBS.

It’s important to note that the study measured perceptions of extroverts, Zlatev says, rather than their actual listening skills. “We don’t have any evidence that extroverts are being less authentic in these social situations, so it’s more about the behaviors that they are exhibiting than the actual underlying motivations that they have.” He also adds that the extroverts in their studies seemed unaware that others perceive them in this light.

The takeaway, Zlatev says, is for us all to be more aware of how we’re coming across to others in social situations and to make sure that conversation is not one-directional. Extroverts in particular may want to think about how they signal to their conversation partners that they’re truly listening.

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