My first job was as a derivatives trader. The markets fascinated me; the testosterone-driven culture of the trading floor did not. I tried to fit in, but being adjacent to the Twin Towers on 9/11 drove me to re-examine my life and priorities.

During HBS, I worked at Procter & Gamble hoping for a better fit. I left with acute dermatitis and a “meets expectations” review from my male manager. “Leadership” was my development area, but the specifics were left blank. I began to doubt myself.

After HBS, I went to Starbucks where I loved the company and it showed. My work was featured in the press and Howard Schultz had me present to his board. Yet my male manager gave me a “meets expectations” review for weakness in “leadership.” Though he could not articulate how I fell short, my confidence collapsed.

Disillusioned, I quit the corporate world and started traveling. I am Taiwanese-American but once I arrived in Japan, it felt like home. I began studying with mentors including geisha, scientists, business leaders, and even a Zen monk. My experiences there healed my skin and my spirit. I started a skincare brand called Tatcha to share my learning journey with others and also to create the company I had always wanted to work for.

Brad Murray (MBA 2007) became my cofounder and we grew Tatcha over the next nine years into a leading beauty brand. Despite the success, I called myself “Chief Treasure Hunter” because I felt unworthy of the CEO title. I asked Brad to take the title, but he refused. He believed in me so much that I began to believe in myself.

Eventually, we brought in private equity partners who quickly recommended I step down as CEO just as my 360-leadership assessment came back as “highly effective.” Confused, I asked why. Their lawyer replied, “If your ego is so big you need to hold onto the CEO title, and you’d be willing to hurt the company to do so—we can have that conversation.” It felt like a threat and triggered the imposter syndrome I had long fought to keep at bay. Brad and I grew the company 85 percent in our last year together as we made way for the new C-suite and sold the company to Unilever. The day the deal was announced, I was overwhelmed with emails congratulating me for “making it” while I wept for the way things had turned out.

Two years in, the C-suite installed by the private equity firm left abruptly in the middle of COVID. I returned as CEO and barely recognized our company. Thankfully, beneath the wreckage, Tatcha’s soul was still intact. We undertook a transformation and this time, it will be built to last.

During this period, I was transformed as well. Like many women of color, I doubted my worthiness to lead because the business world recognizes only one style of leadership—a style defined by white men. But observing two such men lead my company has allowed me to see my abilities clearly for the first time. I rebuilt our team, held space for my people during a wave of AAPI hate, and tripled our growth rate. I will never again doubt my ability to lead and am committed to helping others see themselves clearly too.

Vicky Tsai is the founder of Tatcha and a global board member of Room to Read, a nonprofit focused on literacy and gender equality in education. Since 2014, Tatcha has supported girls’ education in Africa and Southeast Asia in partnership with Room to Read. Tatcha is on track to fund 6.5 million days of school by the end of 2021.

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